


it was never supposed to be real, and yet it was

by Cryellow



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, IT GETS JUICY, M/M, also a little, broganes, jam packed into one fic, like literally every fake dating trope
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-27 22:38:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13890609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cryellow/pseuds/Cryellow
Summary: There's this little gay bar on the corner of Fate and Destiny and it's called Pride. All the coolest people chill there, mainly because Shiro the hot bartender was the friendliest around. Keith loved it because it felt like home. In fair Altea City where we set the scene, it's Daiquiri day and everyone is a little rowdy. Little did Keith know that getting flirted on would change his life forever. (The Fake Dating AU with literally every good trope ever!)





	1. Pride

**Author's Note:**

> HEY GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS BEEN A LONG ASS FUCKING TIME SINCE I POSTED ANYTHING BUT I FINALLY MUSTERED UP THE TIME AND ENERGY TO POST THIS. I wrote it before Season 5 released but now that it has, to commemorate a wonderful season, I decided to post it anyway. I hope you love it!! I'm hoping for around 4 chapters. I know this one is super short but the other ones are going to have a lot more meat. Think of this as kind of the first step! I haven't written anything in a while so please!!! Read, enjoy, and leave comments when you're done! ~Cryellow <3

At first neither of them really planned out how this would go. It was quick, in the beginning. 

 

Keith Kogane was at a bar one night. It was his usual hangout, the neon-lighted back corner of a big city, a small cozy place called  _ Pride _ . It was a gay bar, pure and simple. The bartender, Shiro, was a good friend of Keith’s.Shiro was a tall, muscled, hunk of a man with a scar on his nose from battle out in Desert Storm and a warm smile on his lips that said he’d give you advice that could rival the monkey from  _ Lion King _ . A childhood friend that Keith hasn’t let go of for a long time. The pair of them were like brothers, always having each others back then times got tough, listening to each other’s problems like they were their own, cleaning each other up when they drank too much from the past com back to haunt them. Keith probably wouldn’t have been in the bar so much if Shiro wasn’t working every night. 

 

It was a late Friday night and unfortunately Pride was having one of their monthly deals to drag in customers.There was a small chalkboard outside the bar that read  _ “Grab a daiquiri and a date day! 15% off all mixed drinks!” _

 

Allura, the bar’s owner, was a sweet hearted woman. “It encourages people to come to the bar, and besides, it’s not like people haven’t gotten together because of this place! It’s one of the safest LGBT spaces in Altea City!”

 

She was right, of course, even though she rarely came to the bar anymore. Keith went in the bar almost every night and there never seemed to be a slow day except Tuesday nights. For some reason no one (except Keith) seemed to be drinking on a Tuesday night. Today, however, was packed to the brim with the city’s most enthusiastic and cheerful gays, ready to knock back a few drinks and find someone to go home with at the end of the night. Keith didn’t much like hooking up with strangers in bars, so often he would just stay in the bar until closing and make his way home alone, silent, and content. 

 

“Don’t you get lonely?” Allura asked him one night over the phone. She does this almost every Daiquiri date Friday and is never satisfied with his answer of “I’m okay on my own.”

 

The truth was Keith was horribly lonely, like disastrously lonely, but he wasn’t much for the whole hookup thing because it made him feel empty. Why search for satisfaction in a dried fountain? Even those dating apps felt bogus to Keith because they didn’t offer very much in terms of compassion. No, Keith wasn’t going to find “The One” (if they even existed) online or in some bar. He was going to find them by Fate or Destiny or by tragic circumstance. 

 

Tonight was busy (which was bad),  who were all getting drunk (which was awful), and hitting on every person they saw (which was the worst). Keith wasn’t really any newbie in terms of getting hit on, he was relatively attractive, with lean body from working out daily and sharp facial features given to him from his mother, so when a few stray people wandered over to the hunched figure at the front of the bar cradling his second bourbon, he wasn’t surprised. He shooed them away relatively fast and went back to his conversation with the ever charming Shiro. 

 

“Anyway like I was saying, Shiro, work has me pulling double shifts and we’re supposed to be picking Allura up in like two weeks-”

 

“Excuse me-,” 

 

Keith turned his head quickly around in a frustrated manner, upset that he got interrupted  _ again _ , only to find a charming guy, about 6 feet tall with a large cleft chin and combed back hair smiling at him. The guy looked sober. 

 

“Yes?” Keith said, undeterred. 

 

“Can I sit next to you?” 

 

Keith looked at the empty seat next to him, the one he  _ always _ left open for Shiro or the cook Coran in case the bar got busy, and then looked back at this random guy. “Uh, well-”

 

“It was just...A handsome guy like you deserves to go home with someone special, and you’re all alone talking to the  _ bartender _ .” The guys said smoothly. He had a British accent which wasn’t uncommon for Altea City. Keith looked over to Shiro only to realize he was preoccupied with a customer on the other side of the bar, fixing them a drink. 

 

“Shiro’s a friend-” Keith looked back over to the guy only to find that he had moved closer to Keith, invading his ‘bubble’ of space.

 

“Oh I didn’t mean to offend!” The guy said, cutting Keith off again. “I just thought, since it’s Daiquiri day, that you’d be looking for a date.” 

 

Keith was seriously uncomfortable now. Not only was this guy creepy and weird, he was pushy, and he was getting closer to Keith at every moment. Keith had all his red lights up, and unfortunately Shiro was busy. He didn’t want to start a bar fight, but Keith would if he had to. “Not really, I just-”

 

“Was waiting for me,” said another voice behind Keith. He felt a muscled arm go around his already tense shoulders and cool lips touch his left cheek, reeking of alcohol. Keith had no idea who this other guy was, but he seemed better than Giant Chin guy in front of him. Keith turned his head to see a caramel-skinned guy around his own age, with a light dust of freckles on his upper cheeks and dark chocolate eyes. 

 

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t know you already had a date-” the guy said skeptical, but the guy cradling Keith cut him off.

 

“Well he does. Now leave, or else cops are going to be called. And if I remember correctly, the  _ bartender _ is the one with combat training, and you’ve insulted him, so it doesn’t look like anything here is in your favor. Leave.” This guy almost commanded the situation, which was odd since he didn’t look very commanding in person (to Keith anyway), but regardless the other guy left in a hurry, leaving Keith and the new stranger behind. 

 

After the other guy left, New stranger took his arm off Keith and got a good distance away. “Sorry about that. That guy’s been to a few other gay bars around here and he’s always making people uncomfortable.” 

 

“I could have handled it myself,” Keith muttered, going back to slouching at the bar and cradling his drink. “I didn’t need a bodyguard.” 

 

“I have no doubt you could have, Mullet,” the other guy said, pointing out Keith’s hairdue almost like a curse. “It’s just, my buddies Pidge, Hunk, and I were trying out this bar for the first time, and I’m not partial to fights at the bars I go to. I’ll pick a fight if I have to, but I like to be the one in it.” 

 

“That’s really controlling,” Keith observed. “Besides, it wouldn’t have been much of a fight.” 

 

The other guy put up his hands in complacency. “I apologize,” he held out a hand. “Name’s Lance.”

 

“My name is ‘None of your Business’.” Keith quipped, raising his eyebrows at Lance. 

 

“Hey?!” Lance said, startled. He withdrew his hand from in front of himself and was gesturing wildly with it. “I just saved you back there-” 

 

“And I didn’t need it.”

 

“You can’t even be civil? No ‘Thank you Lance that was so kind’? No ‘Wow I owe you one’?”

 

“I don’t need a prince in shining armor,” Keith shot back. He didn’t know why he was being so defensive towards this guy- he did just save Keith a lot of trouble, after all. It was more of the fact that Lance thought he was  _ entitled  _ to know Keith’s name, like he deserved it for doing such a good deed. For all Keith knew he could be just as bad as the other guy. Keith’s face was getting heated and warm as he argued. “I’m no damsel in distress.” 

 

“Well you’re certainly a damsel, as for in distress-” Lance said with a scowl marking his dark features. “I was just trying to be nice.”

 

“Yeah, well, next time just wait to see what happens and you’ll notice I didn’t need you.” Keith said, trying to scoot around the fact that the cute guy in front of him had just called him a damsel. “I’m perfectly capable on my own.” 

 

“Fine then,” Lance said frustratedly, whipping his hand out from his pocket and slapping it in Keith’s hand. He turned around abruptly, looking back at Keith with a snobby look that Keith wished he could have smacked off. “Next time you’re about to get in a fight, call me so I can record your ass getting kicked.” 

 

With that Lance walked away back to the booth with his friends and Keith was left with a slip of paper with Lance’s number on it and a bitter taste in his mouth.


	2. The Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith makes a call. Allura is mean when lied to. Lance is Bi. Shiro almost pees himself. This is the call that sets the scene and the one that starts a shit storm. What has Keith done???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHTY so I've decided that writing long big chapters is harder than a lot of small chapters all put together (plus then I can update frequently!!!) so I know they're only like 1500 words per chapter but Im thinking that maybe that isn't so bad since I can manage that pretty well. I hope you like this chapter <3 ~Cryellow

The ring was almost painful in Keith’s ear. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe he was going this. The sound of the phone pressed against his ear was worse than typing out the number in the first place- worse than that time had peed himself in elementary school. 

 

See, the problem was Keith needed a favor. A big one. And he honestly didn’t have many friends except Shiro, and that  _ really _ wouldn’t work for him this time. The most painful part of this process was the decision making that attributed to him getting in this position in the first place.  It was blurry really, and he didn’t really want to think about it but the process to get here was as gruesome and horrible as anything he’d ever don-

 

“You’re on the phone with Lover Boy Lance. I can’t come to the phone right now, so leave a message after the BEEP.” 

 

Keith was almost relieved that he hadn’t picked up. On the other hand that meant Keith had to explain himself monologue style. To a guy that gave him his number so he could watch him get beat up. The situation wasn’t ideal. 

 

“Uhh,” was the first thing that came out of Keith’s mouth. It wasn’t pretty. “This is… uhh…. Mullet? From Pride? Mr. None of Your Business himself, and, uh, I didn’t call to like tell you I have a fight or whatever- God i wish it was that easy- I, uh, look this would be so much easier if I just talked to you over the phone instead of in voicemail. My names Keith but, uh, you don’t have to answer back it’s cool-” 

 

And with that Shiro had leaned across Keith and hit the “End” button on his phone. 

 

“Hey!” Keith said in frustration, putting down his phone and looking at him with a scowl. Shiro, however, was in a fit of chuckles that shook Keith’s small apartment. 

 

“I can’t believe you actually did it!” 

 

“Well you dared me too-” Keith said, holding up the quarter between them threateningly. It was a pretty simple game, really. Like truth or dare, except, because both Shiro and Keith are lousy at deciding they let the coin do it for them. Heads is Truth and Tails is Dare. Keith had, unfortunately, landed on Tails and Shiro made a pretty dirty dare for Keith to withhold or accept that Shiro is the better man (which he did quite often, but this time Keith did it anyway because Shiro’s stupid face looked really stupid and him calling Keith a chicken would have been even worse). So Keith took the dare, and he called Lance, and at first he didn’t really know what he was going to talk about but seeing the call  _ under  _ Lance made him remember that he may or may not have something important to ask anyway. 

 

Allura was coming back home for a few days. She’d been out travelling the mountains on a study abroad program for her Business College and soon she’d be coming home after months. She had a bar to look after, and unfortunately she had called Keith right after last week’s Daiquri day and demanded to know everything, except Keith was tired of all the drama, so he said “Oh yeah I met this really great guy and we chatted and we’re dating now” to shut her up, only, what he  _ didn’t _ expect was for her to say “OH MAN I CAN’T WAIT TO MEET HIM” loudly into Keith’s very sensitive ears. 

 

Unfortunately Lance  _ wasn’t _ Keith’s boyfriend (not that he’d  _ ever _ date someone like that) which meant that Keith was dateless and had lied to Allura. Two things that….. Should never be revealed to Allura. 

 

Now Keith was sitting in front of the hysterical Shiro, a frown on his face and a sinking in his gut. What if Lance didn’t answer his call? Who was he going to get to do something like that  _ anyway _ it’s not like there was a ‘boyfriend for a day’ service, which would be an excellent business venture now that he thought about it- 

 

Suddenly Keith’s phone was ringing and an unknown number popped up. Maybe it was someone else? 

 

“Hello?” Keith answered, getting up and leaving the room for privacy (Shiro had followed him but he hadn’t realized that). “Keith here.” 

 

“Hi…. this is Lance? You called about something? Don’t tell me you want a date man I was only trying to save you back there I wasn’t really interested-” Lance started slyly. Keith got slightly taken aback. That  _ wasn’t _ why he was calling, however, if that  _ had _ been the case he’s surprised that Lance would have directly told him no. Then again he  _ did _ get really rude with him at Pride, so it’s not like Keith could blame him. 

 

“No, no no it’s not like that. Look I know this is going to sound weird,” Keith said, going and sitting on his couch in the living room, “but you remember what you did with that creepy guy?” 

 

“I pretended to be your boyfriend so that fuckwad would back off.” Lance said simply, with a touch of self justice in his voice. Keith almost sighed but he knew that would have been rude when you’re asking for a favor. 

 

“Look I know we like just met and I don’t know you, but could you maybe do that again?” Keith made it sound nonchalant like he wasn’t asking some stranger to be his fake boyfriend. 

 

“Is someone going after you? At one point you gotta call the cops, man-” Lance replied. 

 

“No, look I know it’s not much to you and you don’t know me but I have this friend- more like sister, really-  who’s coming into town-” 

 

“Is she hot?” 

 

“What? You were at Pride I thought you were gay-” Keith started, confused. 

 

“Dude respect the Bi’s. I’m a lover of  _ all _ things not just other dudes.” Lance said smoothly. 

 

“Well, fine.” Keith said, stunted. “I just need someone to be my fake boyfriend so she can get off my back and I can live my life. It would only be like one night this Saturday and then I’ll never talk to you again, besides I’ll pay for dinner and everything-” 

 

“Thats nice but two things: 1)I can’t do this and 2) If I could I’d want something in return  _ anyway-” _

 

“Like what, money?” Keith said, slow to recount  _ everything _ that was being said. 

 

“No, like a favor, I’m not a prostitute Jesus-”

 

“Wait why can’t you do it?” Keith said, finally putting the pieces together. 

 

“Not that that’s any of your business but my parents are coming into town on Sunday so I was going to clean Saturday.” 

 

Sweat beaded on Keith’s forehead. This wasn’t going well at all. He needed  _ someone _ to be with him. He needed to put this dating bullshit of Allura’s to rest so he can be a free man. 

 

“How about I help you clean your apartment or whatever Saturday night after brunch with my friend as payment and then you can have a clean house and time to come with me?” Keith said quickly. He  _ hated _ cleaning. It was the worst. His apartment was constantly a mess, not to mention he never did anything without requirement- but this was important. Super important. Allura when she’s been lied to is  _ not _ a pretty sight. She gets dangerous, and frankly Keith doesn’t want that type of noise. 

 

There was a silence as Lance pondered the decision and Keith hung in limbo, holding his breath. 

 

“Alright. I hate cleaning alone anyway. Fine I’ll do it.” 

 

“Great.” 

 

“Ok.” 

 

“You have my number so, uh, text me the details.” Lance said awkwardly. 

 

“Yeah, perfect, uh….” 

 

“I’m going to go now.” 

 

“Alright.” 

 

And with that the line went dead and Keith was shell shocked, Shiro in the other room trying not to pee himself with glee. 

 

This was going to be a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!! I hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to kudos and share! ALSO LEAVE A COMMENT I THRIVE ON COMMENTS ANY TYPE DONT MATTER. Check me out on Tumblr at Too-Many-Fandoms-Girl.tumblr.com ! Love Yall <3 ~Cryellow

**Author's Note:**

> I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED!!!!! I know this was short but I'm planning on writing a lot more!!! DONT FORGET TO COMMENT, KUDOS, AND SEND TO YOUR FRIENDS <3 I'm also on Tumblr!!!! Check me out at too-many-fandoms-girl.tumblr.com ! LOVE YA ~Cryellow <3


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